Alright well today (Wednesday) went super good until I went home earlier to make dinner for the rest of the girls. Since there are five of us girls staying in one place, we rotate dinners, each of us getting one day a week where we make dinner and mine was tonight. I made this fish filet thing that i crusted with crushed almonds to make it nice and crunchy but instead of frying it, I baked it in the oven till it was golden brown and the almonds were really toasted and delicious smelling. It was super good if I do say so myself, the outer layer of crushed almonds was all crispy and the inner layer of fish was totally moist and yummy. The problem happened when Mary and all the rest didn't come home until 8!!! I had finished making dinner by 5:45 and the whole house smelled soo freaking good. Needless to say I was starving!! But instead of eating some of the meal that I had prepared, I dug through the fridge for some left overs at around 7 and ate about 3 oz of that left-over mayonnaise cheddar cheese chicken from two nights before.
That seemed to just spark my appetite though - exactly opposite of what I wanted it to do -- and made me even more hungry! I then finally gave in and ate about 4 oz of the fish filet that I made around 7:45 because it was so freaking late and I thought oh well, i might as well enjoy the dish that I made for tonight. Then they got home and I couldn't resist eating with the rest of them because it's so much more fun to eat with people, so I had about another 2 oz of fish fillet, a bag of light popcorn (240 calories) and then 4 chocolate no-bake cookies for desert which I'm not meant to eat!! Yipers. My stomach hurts from all that food. I'm not going to lie and say the no-bakes didn't taste good, darn you mary! but ugh. I don't like feeling super full, either. I think I'm going to have to eat my pride - heh, little play on subjects for you - and humble myself enough to ask one of the girls to help me stay accountable. I feel that if I have someone with whom I have to look in the face and state all that I've eaten in one day that I will really feel the necessary embarrassment which will work as a catalyst to keep me from over eating. Shame me into submission! I really have no excuse to eat so much. It's starting to really get to me. I apparently have a very bad track record so far. I hate being a loser. Not cool.
I hate being on the border of skinny. It stinks. It's a horrible shadowy place to be. I am SO close to looking the way I want to look. Literally, only in reality, like 3-4 weeks away from being happy with my body. If I lost just 8 pounds (2 pounds a week making that 4 weeks) I know I would be happy, I was happy with my body one week ago before vacation, when I had stuck with my diet for only two consecutive weeks. It's like, I'm so close to being happy - 4 short weeks - and yet it's taken me an entire year to try and get those four consecutive weeks! It's maddening, and it's very frustrating. Ugh. I sometimes wish I was 115 lbs over weight instead of just 15lbs. It seems like when you weight more you are still able to loose weight even if you have a bad day once a week. But with me, if i have even one bad day, my entire weight loss for that whole week is gone and sometimes I even gain weight from it - from one stinking day of bad decisions. Ugh. It's not fair. I have SO little to loose, but it just seems so hard to loose it....4 short weeks away and I can't seem to make it happen! So maddening! I think I'm going to have to try, as I intimated above, getting another physical human being involved in this. I'm going to ask Tami to be my mentor...She's super nice, has a great body and understands a lot about nutrition. But i'm going to hold off asking until after Easter. I wanted to be able to loose 4 pounds by then, but now it doesn't seem like it's going to happen. I might shoot for three though. I think I could do that in 11 days. But knowing me, once I start to see even the slightest results, i get all proud and self-reliant and feel that I don't need anyone's help. Well, I do, and I want and know that I need someone else's help and accountability. I definitely would not have eaten those cookies tonight had I known I would have to then tell someone face to face that I did. I'm going to use my pride to my advantage! take that!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Yogurt, Starfruit, Vampire bats?!
So, yesterday I forgot to do my weigh-in...Oh, don't get me wrong, I definitely did not forget to weigh myself, but I did forget that I was meant to post my weight to the "world" yesterday. So...tadum....yesterday my stinking scale said I weighed 125lbs...Hm...I had lost 2 pounds two weeks ago, but apparently I gained 2 pounds over my week on vacation. Grrr....But actually, I honestly thought I would have gained more from the way I was indulging in junk food over vacation. I'm glad I didn't gain more than I my original weight, at any rate. Anyway, vacation is over, and there won't be another one until this summer - probably June or July -- so there's a good couple of months before that, where I can focus on being healthy and not be interrupted by vacationing and junk food!
On another note, today I went shopping and I saw that non-fat yogurt I was raving about a couple of weeks ago (click me). I didn't buy another one because I saw that it cost 49 pesos, and the dollar is currently at 46 pesos....That's over a dollar for a teeney-weeney little carton of yogurt...ugh. Heh, I might give in later on this week though and buy some because I adore yogurt, and this yogurt was fat-free and sugar free! Trust me, you can't find this in the Philippines anywhere, I've looked!! Anyway, here's a picture of the covetous yogurt - yes it's just the carton...I loved this yogurt, it was super think and creamy:
~ Today's Menu ~
(5:40 a.m.) Breakfast: 1 green apple, 6 almonds, 1 cup skim milk
(1:30 p.m.) Lunch: 3 oz cheddar cheese, chili powder mayonnaise chicken (left overs from last night), 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 16 oz water
(4:10 p.m.) Snack: 1 green apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:30 p.m.) Snack: 1/2 cup chopped carrots (raw), 8 oz water
(7:30 p.m.) Dinner: 3 oz chicken breast (baked with cheddar cheese very lightly sprinkled on top), 1 cup salad greens, 1 cup brocolli/cauliflower mix (raw), 1 cup skim milk
multi-vitamin supplement, calcium supplement, d-12 vitamin pill thingi...for the sun or something...
And this underneath is a picture of a star fruit that is growing on a tree that I can see right outside my office! Yay. It's so good.
This picture is AMAZING too, I wish it were mine! But, alas, it is not. I was going to take one myself, but I noticed that all the actual starfruit on my tree was rather pathetic looking because all the birds have been picking at it, which I don't mind because I'm glad they're getting something good to eat, but also, I noticed that some bats - yes BATS - were picking at it as well. It's rather weird to see bats flying around like it's nobody's busineess...so weird, I swear they're not only blind but their radar or sonor thing totally is broken! Heh, they fly straight at me sometimes! At least they're not vampire bats, right? I mean, they're eating fruit not other animals...heh...hm....haha I've been watching too many vampire related tv-shows and movies lately! Heh, they're suddenly so everywhere now days!
Alright well, yipers, I'm tired. I think the shopping today really took it out of me - I went in high heels, too...not a good combination, but it was either that or flip-flops with my jeans and I have a thing about my feet getting dirty - gross - so I wore my only other shoes I had with me at the time...heh...not going to do that again!
On another note, today I went shopping and I saw that non-fat yogurt I was raving about a couple of weeks ago (click me). I didn't buy another one because I saw that it cost 49 pesos, and the dollar is currently at 46 pesos....That's over a dollar for a teeney-weeney little carton of yogurt...ugh. Heh, I might give in later on this week though and buy some because I adore yogurt, and this yogurt was fat-free and sugar free! Trust me, you can't find this in the Philippines anywhere, I've looked!! Anyway, here's a picture of the covetous yogurt - yes it's just the carton...I loved this yogurt, it was super think and creamy:
~ Today's Menu ~(5:40 a.m.) Breakfast: 1 green apple, 6 almonds, 1 cup skim milk
(1:30 p.m.) Lunch: 3 oz cheddar cheese, chili powder mayonnaise chicken (left overs from last night), 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 16 oz water
(4:10 p.m.) Snack: 1 green apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:30 p.m.) Snack: 1/2 cup chopped carrots (raw), 8 oz water
(7:30 p.m.) Dinner: 3 oz chicken breast (baked with cheddar cheese very lightly sprinkled on top), 1 cup salad greens, 1 cup brocolli/cauliflower mix (raw), 1 cup skim milk
multi-vitamin supplement, calcium supplement, d-12 vitamin pill thingi...for the sun or something...
And this underneath is a picture of a star fruit that is growing on a tree that I can see right outside my office! Yay. It's so good.
This picture is AMAZING too, I wish it were mine! But, alas, it is not. I was going to take one myself, but I noticed that all the actual starfruit on my tree was rather pathetic looking because all the birds have been picking at it, which I don't mind because I'm glad they're getting something good to eat, but also, I noticed that some bats - yes BATS - were picking at it as well. It's rather weird to see bats flying around like it's nobody's busineess...so weird, I swear they're not only blind but their radar or sonor thing totally is broken! Heh, they fly straight at me sometimes! At least they're not vampire bats, right? I mean, they're eating fruit not other animals...heh...hm....haha I've been watching too many vampire related tv-shows and movies lately! Heh, they're suddenly so everywhere now days!Alright well, yipers, I'm tired. I think the shopping today really took it out of me - I went in high heels, too...not a good combination, but it was either that or flip-flops with my jeans and I have a thing about my feet getting dirty - gross - so I wore my only other shoes I had with me at the time...heh...not going to do that again!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Bougainvillea Creepers - Pictures! :)
Hiding behind the bougainvillea, because that's what cool people do. 
Koi pond! These fish are SUPER expensive, but we got them for free! Yay! :)
Bougainvillea:
That golden koi is super large, like almost a foot and a half, which, given the size of the small pond, is rather big.
But, wait, there's more!! There are a TON of fruit trees everywhere too!! It's amazing how beautiful everything is over here. Oh, and Tina, I remember you saying something about avocados and guess what! Where I work there are not one but TWO avocado trees, both of which are in full bloom! heh, I guess I'll get to try them avocado's afterall...perhaps in a guacamole though heh, I don't really like avocados! but I have heard a ton of good things about them!
Avocado tree with a ton of blossoms...soon to be avocados!
Mango tree with green mangos - they're not the nasty south american mangos, they're an indian or golden mango and they are DELICIOUS! heh, those in the picture aren't ripe yet, but they're totally getting there...probably only like two more weeks and then they will harvest them all...and there are a TON! I'm excited! :)
And this, if you can tell, is a Starfruit tree! Star fruit! heh. It's meant to be yellow in color as well, but yeah, these are still ripening too. I'll pick one though and cut it open, you can't tell from this, but once you cut them they really do look like stars...heh, so cute.
Koi pond! These fish are SUPER expensive, but we got them for free! Yay! :)
Bougainvillea:
That golden koi is super large, like almost a foot and a half, which, given the size of the small pond, is rather big.
But, wait, there's more!! There are a TON of fruit trees everywhere too!! It's amazing how beautiful everything is over here. Oh, and Tina, I remember you saying something about avocados and guess what! Where I work there are not one but TWO avocado trees, both of which are in full bloom! heh, I guess I'll get to try them avocado's afterall...perhaps in a guacamole though heh, I don't really like avocados! but I have heard a ton of good things about them!
Avocado tree with a ton of blossoms...soon to be avocados!
Mango tree with green mangos - they're not the nasty south american mangos, they're an indian or golden mango and they are DELICIOUS! heh, those in the picture aren't ripe yet, but they're totally getting there...probably only like two more weeks and then they will harvest them all...and there are a TON! I'm excited! :)
And this, if you can tell, is a Starfruit tree! Star fruit! heh. It's meant to be yellow in color as well, but yeah, these are still ripening too. I'll pick one though and cut it open, you can't tell from this, but once you cut them they really do look like stars...heh, so cute.
FAMISHED and FLOWERS! :)
Alright, so it's super late - I normally try to get in bed by 10:00 p.m. on weeknights, but unfortunately I didn't get home from the office head quarters building until 8:40....goodness gracious, was I FAMISHED! heh. I hadn't eaten anything since 5, and that was only a cup of carrots. I was soooo hungry that right when I got home I grabbed the first thing I could and scarfed it down! heh...yeah, I probably shouldn't have. It was some cheddar cheese mayonnaise chicken with like some chili powder on top, I dunno, not sure what it was, but it tasted pretty good. So I think I probably ate around 6 oz of that stuff - when I should have only eaten 3 oz. Humph. I was hungry. And then there was this broccoli salad thing - with cranberries, chedder cheese, cauliflower, sunflower seeds and of course mayonnaise and vinegar and sugar sauce. It was good, but again, probably super caloric. I'm not a big fan of mayonnaise, either! But yeah, overall I think I did ok today. I kind of ate a bit hurriedly, which I don't like, and don't recommend to anyone. But other than that, calorie-wise I still think I ate only around 1250...
As for some pictures, because it's so totally spring over here, I thought I would take a few samples of the gorgeous array of flowers all over the place where I work. I don't know any of their names, except for that white one which is an orchid of some type.
I love these white orchids...they are so clean looking!
As for some pictures, because it's so totally spring over here, I thought I would take a few samples of the gorgeous array of flowers all over the place where I work. I don't know any of their names, except for that white one which is an orchid of some type.
I love these white orchids...they are so clean looking!Snack Contemplation...
5:00 a.m. -- Breakfast: 60 oz dried fruit -- 3 prunes, 1/2 pear, 1/2 peach; 6 almonds, 1 cup skim milk
So I'm feeling rather hungry right now - it's currently 8:00 a.m. I'm not sure if it's because I ate a bigger breakfast than usual -- at least calorie-wise it was bigger, but it wasn't bigger in bulk because the fruit was dried...heh dried fruit is totally not as good as hydrated (real) fruit! I'm contemplating whether or not I should make myself a snack....normally I don't eat between breakfast and lunch...I'm considering whether I should listen to my body or listen to my head! Let's see, I'm going to plan out here and now what all I'm going to eat today, and then see if the calories allow for a snack right now:
12:00 p.m. -- Lunch: 3 oz Lean Turkey Burger, 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 16 oz water
3:00 p.m. -- Snack: 40 oz dried fruit (110 calories), 6 almonds, 12 oz water
5:00 p.m. -- Snack: 1 cup carrots, 8 oz water
7:00 p.m. -- Dinner: 1 cup mixed salad greens, 1 cup cauliflower (raw), 3 oz chicken breast, 1 cup skim milk, multi-vitamin supplements, calcium supplement.
Hm...not much room for a snack...but my diet guidelines insist that I should eat tons and tons of veggies...as in there is no limit to how many I should eat in a day. So I was going to have a piece of toast with 1 tbs of peanut butter, but then I would have to limit my lunch to only one piece of bread rather than my usual two pieces...and I would go and fix myself up some carrots but that takes too much work. heh, I guess I'm just going to ignore my hunger for now and wait for lunch. I'll see how that works out. If I still feel hungry in an hour then maybe I'll fix myself a snack...I'll let you know later on today how it goes....and I'll post up some more pictures then, too! :)
So I'm feeling rather hungry right now - it's currently 8:00 a.m. I'm not sure if it's because I ate a bigger breakfast than usual -- at least calorie-wise it was bigger, but it wasn't bigger in bulk because the fruit was dried...heh dried fruit is totally not as good as hydrated (real) fruit! I'm contemplating whether or not I should make myself a snack....normally I don't eat between breakfast and lunch...I'm considering whether I should listen to my body or listen to my head! Let's see, I'm going to plan out here and now what all I'm going to eat today, and then see if the calories allow for a snack right now:
12:00 p.m. -- Lunch: 3 oz Lean Turkey Burger, 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 16 oz water
3:00 p.m. -- Snack: 40 oz dried fruit (110 calories), 6 almonds, 12 oz water
5:00 p.m. -- Snack: 1 cup carrots, 8 oz water
7:00 p.m. -- Dinner: 1 cup mixed salad greens, 1 cup cauliflower (raw), 3 oz chicken breast, 1 cup skim milk, multi-vitamin supplements, calcium supplement.
Hm...not much room for a snack...but my diet guidelines insist that I should eat tons and tons of veggies...as in there is no limit to how many I should eat in a day. So I was going to have a piece of toast with 1 tbs of peanut butter, but then I would have to limit my lunch to only one piece of bread rather than my usual two pieces...and I would go and fix myself up some carrots but that takes too much work. heh, I guess I'm just going to ignore my hunger for now and wait for lunch. I'll see how that works out. If I still feel hungry in an hour then maybe I'll fix myself a snack...I'll let you know later on today how it goes....and I'll post up some more pictures then, too! :)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Pictures! :)
Today was super good. I liked it a lot. The weather was blazing hot but the sky was the most blue I've ever seen it with big fluffy clouds. It was amazing. And guess what, I went walking....I am typically afraid to exercise because yeah, either I over do it - as in walking for two hours in the straight sun during the hottest time of the day (12:00 - 2:00 p.m.) - or I don't eat enough and the following day I am STARVING. Anyway, today I went on a walk, and if you notice on my "menu" below for today, I ate more starches/breads to compensate for the walk - as in I ate cheerios...I usually eat just an apple which has fewer carbs (I believe) than cheerios does...anyway, yeah, I added 4 starches instead of my usual 2. Anyway, I have a ton of pictures but I'll just post the ones from Subic first because I keep saying I will!
Menu:
Breakfast: 1 cup cheerios, 1 cup skim milk
Snack: 1/2 cup dried fruit (figs, apricots, peaches)
Lunch: 3oz lean turkey burger, 2 pieces bread, 16 oz water
Snack: 1 cup chopped carrots, 6 almonds, 1 cup 2% milk
Dinner: Turkey Soup: 2 cups chopped cabbage, 1 can chunky tomatos in juice, 3 oz turkey burger chopped up and put in cabbage/tomato broth, salt, pepper, onion powder, onion flakes, 12 oz water
Exercise:
45 minutes walking!
This is Ben, our Rotweiller to protect the house because people are always breaking in over here. But he's just a puppy. I think only 4 or 5 months old.
That's ben watching me (in the red shorts). We found a "secret" cove that was totally deserted and I think in this pic I was trying to see if there was someone else on the beach cove thing, but there wasn't...
Menu:
Breakfast: 1 cup cheerios, 1 cup skim milk
Snack: 1/2 cup dried fruit (figs, apricots, peaches)
Lunch: 3oz lean turkey burger, 2 pieces bread, 16 oz water
Snack: 1 cup chopped carrots, 6 almonds, 1 cup 2% milk
Dinner: Turkey Soup: 2 cups chopped cabbage, 1 can chunky tomatos in juice, 3 oz turkey burger chopped up and put in cabbage/tomato broth, salt, pepper, onion powder, onion flakes, 12 oz water
Exercise:
45 minutes walking!
PICTURES:
That's me with all my fatness. I know I'm not that fat...at all. But I do need to loose that nasty back fat that I'm hugging with my hand in this pic -- to see it more clearly click on it...heh...Oh the glorious love handles. Anyway, yeah, that's me checking out the deserted cove we found on Subic. The water was super still because it was a cove and so the blaring sun made it rather hot as well. It was a bit weird...like this untouched ecosystem or something. That brown stuff a bit ahead of me in the water was growing coral. Very interesting, but also scary! heh...creatures of the sea...I really hate being stung by them!!
That's me with all my fatness. I know I'm not that fat...at all. But I do need to loose that nasty back fat that I'm hugging with my hand in this pic -- to see it more clearly click on it...heh...Oh the glorious love handles. Anyway, yeah, that's me checking out the deserted cove we found on Subic. The water was super still because it was a cove and so the blaring sun made it rather hot as well. It was a bit weird...like this untouched ecosystem or something. That brown stuff a bit ahead of me in the water was growing coral. Very interesting, but also scary! heh...creatures of the sea...I really hate being stung by them!!
This is Ben, our Rotweiller to protect the house because people are always breaking in over here. But he's just a puppy. I think only 4 or 5 months old.
That's ben watching me (in the red shorts). We found a "secret" cove that was totally deserted and I think in this pic I was trying to see if there was someone else on the beach cove thing, but there wasn't...Saturday, March 20, 2010
14 Days Until Easter and Scared to Exercise
Alright, well it's exactly 14 more days until Easter. I know we're going to have a little get-together with all the folks here and I want to look good...especially because of the heat. Entertaining plus heat plus feeling uncomfortable with how I look/what I'm wearing is never a good combination! So, I'm going to make this Easter different. 14 days...That's usually my breaking point as I've noticed with this blog's history. I am usually good for approximately two weeks and then something breaks down...this break down could be Easter...but I'm not going to let it be. I'm glad I've been writing this blog, it has really helped me learn a lot about myself. I think the main problem, besides going on vacation and being surrounded by only junk food with no possibility of healthy food, is that I may be eating too few calories each day. I am only eating strictly 1000 calories a day and of all the things I've read about dieting, most of them agree that going below 1200 a day is counterproductive as my body will start breaking down muscle instead of just fat and it will also cause my metabolism to go into starvation mode which slows down the rate at which I burn calories. Heh, the gist is that, I'm going to up my caloric intake to 1200 calories a day, and I may consider exercising...heh, I am a bit scared of exercising simply because the thinnest I ever was occurred when I was not exercising at all.
I wasn't exactly pleased with how my body looked naked. I mean, with clothes my body appeared great. But without clothes it just looked a bit shrunken for my taste...I definitely lost all my muscle tone which was sad because I am super athletic and naturally have a lot of muscle. But yeah, when I weighed 105lbs I definitely was not pleased with how skeletally thin my body looked, as opposed to how I wanted it to look - fit and thin. But yeah, I'm also afraid of exercising because it makes me feel incredibly hungry the following day. I think it has to do with not eating enough, again. I think I need to come to terms with how much my body actually needs each day to simply maintain. I think that is why I end up binging so frequently (every two weeks). I think I just don't realize how much I can actually eat - how much my body actually needs. However, because I have eaten SO too much over vacation - I weigh 125 lbs...again..ugh...I'm going to stick with my old eating plan that I outlined in my first post. But after two weeks is up, I'm going to increase my caloric intake to 1200 calories. And I am going to try my hardest not to overeat come this Easter..which is April 4. If you guys have any tips to keep me accountable I'd love to hear them!! :)
And I've been reluctant to post any pictures of myself because, well, in reality, I didn't want people that I know to know I have a "weight loss" blog because that would have been super embarrassing to me. I'm one of those people who don't want people to know I'm actually struggling with my weight. But you know what, I don't care anymore. I just want to be healthy now. I think the more I'm open with my food struggles, the quicker I will be to overcoming them. I don't have to keep them secret! I need to share them and get some kind of accountability/support from those around me..hm....heh, that's definitely a next step. But anyway, for now, I'm going to post some pictures of me...hm...but not today. probably tomorrow once I actually get around to charging my camera. Alright, that's all for now. But yeah, if you have any tips to help me stay accountable with myself and not binging every two weeks I'd love to hear it!!! :)
I wasn't exactly pleased with how my body looked naked. I mean, with clothes my body appeared great. But without clothes it just looked a bit shrunken for my taste...I definitely lost all my muscle tone which was sad because I am super athletic and naturally have a lot of muscle. But yeah, when I weighed 105lbs I definitely was not pleased with how skeletally thin my body looked, as opposed to how I wanted it to look - fit and thin. But yeah, I'm also afraid of exercising because it makes me feel incredibly hungry the following day. I think it has to do with not eating enough, again. I think I need to come to terms with how much my body actually needs each day to simply maintain. I think that is why I end up binging so frequently (every two weeks). I think I just don't realize how much I can actually eat - how much my body actually needs. However, because I have eaten SO too much over vacation - I weigh 125 lbs...again..ugh...I'm going to stick with my old eating plan that I outlined in my first post. But after two weeks is up, I'm going to increase my caloric intake to 1200 calories. And I am going to try my hardest not to overeat come this Easter..which is April 4. If you guys have any tips to keep me accountable I'd love to hear them!! :)
And I've been reluctant to post any pictures of myself because, well, in reality, I didn't want people that I know to know I have a "weight loss" blog because that would have been super embarrassing to me. I'm one of those people who don't want people to know I'm actually struggling with my weight. But you know what, I don't care anymore. I just want to be healthy now. I think the more I'm open with my food struggles, the quicker I will be to overcoming them. I don't have to keep them secret! I need to share them and get some kind of accountability/support from those around me..hm....heh, that's definitely a next step. But anyway, for now, I'm going to post some pictures of me...hm...but not today. probably tomorrow once I actually get around to charging my camera. Alright, that's all for now. But yeah, if you have any tips to help me stay accountable with myself and not binging every two weeks I'd love to hear it!!! :)
Friday, March 19, 2010
THANK YOU TINA!!!
Yay! Finally I got my posting date to match the date I'm actually in! Ha! thanks so much Tina!! haha This has been something that has bothered me for soooo long and finally somehow showed me how to switch it! yay. So thank you, Tina!! :)
New Beginnings!
Friday - 12:40 p.m.
(I don't know what's up with my blogging account, but it's always been a few hours behind and now I'm all confused as well! heh, but for the record, right now, it is Friday, March 19 and it is 12:41 p.m.)
Wow, so I'm super glad to finally be back! Heh, yes, my stupid diet - or lack thereof -- really did ruin my vacation, but I'll live. I'm actually just really glad to be back. I dunno what's wrong with me, but somehow self-control during this past week flew out the window. But yeah, the weather is beautiful, albeit hot! But the skies are super blue with big fluffy clouds and there is a breeze - even if the air that is blowing in the breeze is luke warm! heh. But the heat here is just one more reason why it pays to loose weight. The more weight I loose the less hot I feel and the more energy I have. So I have been thinking about it and I'm starting to despise how unhealthy America is. Our eating habits are so bad, it makes me mad even. I just read this expose thing on french culture and how even in their public schools the cafeteria serves a four course meal which has fruits and vegetables and protein and dairy - all very balanced. And the school even sends suggested menus home to the families and suggests what meals would best compliment nutritionally what the child ate for lunch. And all that's in a public school! Their obesity rate is far lower in children than it is in the U.S.. Ugh, most of our fast food is just so unhealthy or just completely unbalanced in nutrients. Oh well. I mean, I say this, but i still love eating McDonald's french fries and I still love eating greesy, fatty pizza hut pizza, and I will always love Doritos and Lays. I despise it, but I still love it! heh. Anyway! Today is a new, as well as extremely beautiful day, and I'm starting my "detoxing" session post haste!
Sadly, though, I went to bed at 4:00a.m. last night and so I didn't get up until around 11 today. That's annoying because it messes up my whole eating plan. But whatever. I woke up at 11 and had breakfast - an apple, 6 almonds and 1 cup of milk. It made me happy. I love routine. :) And as soon as I charge up my camera, I'll be uploading some pictures of me on vacation. Melissa brought her new rotweiller puppy, Ben, on the trip because he was too young to stay at home..he's adorable, although a bit scary! But yeah, we went exploring together one day and found a little deserted beach cove, and he loves the water so that was fun. But yeah, so tomorrow i'll upload some of those pictures. :)
(I don't know what's up with my blogging account, but it's always been a few hours behind and now I'm all confused as well! heh, but for the record, right now, it is Friday, March 19 and it is 12:41 p.m.)
Wow, so I'm super glad to finally be back! Heh, yes, my stupid diet - or lack thereof -- really did ruin my vacation, but I'll live. I'm actually just really glad to be back. I dunno what's wrong with me, but somehow self-control during this past week flew out the window. But yeah, the weather is beautiful, albeit hot! But the skies are super blue with big fluffy clouds and there is a breeze - even if the air that is blowing in the breeze is luke warm! heh. But the heat here is just one more reason why it pays to loose weight. The more weight I loose the less hot I feel and the more energy I have. So I have been thinking about it and I'm starting to despise how unhealthy America is. Our eating habits are so bad, it makes me mad even. I just read this expose thing on french culture and how even in their public schools the cafeteria serves a four course meal which has fruits and vegetables and protein and dairy - all very balanced. And the school even sends suggested menus home to the families and suggests what meals would best compliment nutritionally what the child ate for lunch. And all that's in a public school! Their obesity rate is far lower in children than it is in the U.S.. Ugh, most of our fast food is just so unhealthy or just completely unbalanced in nutrients. Oh well. I mean, I say this, but i still love eating McDonald's french fries and I still love eating greesy, fatty pizza hut pizza, and I will always love Doritos and Lays. I despise it, but I still love it! heh. Anyway! Today is a new, as well as extremely beautiful day, and I'm starting my "detoxing" session post haste!
Sadly, though, I went to bed at 4:00a.m. last night and so I didn't get up until around 11 today. That's annoying because it messes up my whole eating plan. But whatever. I woke up at 11 and had breakfast - an apple, 6 almonds and 1 cup of milk. It made me happy. I love routine. :) And as soon as I charge up my camera, I'll be uploading some pictures of me on vacation. Melissa brought her new rotweiller puppy, Ben, on the trip because he was too young to stay at home..he's adorable, although a bit scary! But yeah, we went exploring together one day and found a little deserted beach cove, and he loves the water so that was fun. But yeah, so tomorrow i'll upload some of those pictures. :)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Day 31
Heh, well, I went on a super long walk a few days ago during the hottest time of the day here in the tropical island of the Philippines. A professional biker named "Dexter" even stopped to talk to me during my walk to tell me it was very "mainit" (hot) and I answered with an "oh-oh" which means "yes" in tagalog...heh. I feel so proud that i'm learning a new language...i'm practically fluent! hahaha yeah...not really. heh. But yeah, I woke up with an incredible headache that had begun the night before and everything that the girls cooked this morning like omelets and such made me feel like throwing up. But it's been a whole day now and I think i'm on the mend. I'm going to try to go walking again tomorrow, but just for not as long.
OH and a break-through happened yesterday during my walk - I was out there for two whole hours, right, in the blaring tropical sun and, lo' and behold, I did not get burned...at all! Amazing. I am VERY fair skinned. When I was a little girl I went out in the sun for just a few hours and the next day my entire face puffed up like three times it's normal size all because of too much sun exposure and I couldn't go out in the sun for the entire rest of the vacation! BUT, this time I actually read the directions on the sun block, which was spf 50, and I actually waited 20 minutes once I had put the sunblock on, before going out in the sun, as the directions suggested, and it worked!! Heh...I am revolutionized. This is amazing. I never knew that sunblock actually worked. Who knew that following directions would yield such fabulous, earth shaking results! ;)
Oh, and on another brighter note, while it's been interesting here in subic, I am very much ready to be leaving here tomorrow afternoon and getting back to normal...hopefully my headache will be totally gone by then, too! And I would have had a ton of awesome pictures to put up, but I left my camera cord at home! ugh. stupid jenny. but i'll upload a few once I get back. I guess that's all for now. The diet has been suspended for today...heh...not likeing my lack of discipline too much..at all...it's ruining my vacation, so i really need to learn to deal with this somehow for future vacations. I refuse to let my diet rule my life, but I don't want to allow the lack of a diet to ruin my life either -- and feeling and being fat ruins my life. But anyway, I have taken a temporary retreat, but i'm going to do a whole lot more advancing on my shedding of weight once I get back to Manila and get back to normal! Alright, I'll write when I can, I may not have internet access tomorrow while i"m traveling...later blogging buddies. :)
OH and a break-through happened yesterday during my walk - I was out there for two whole hours, right, in the blaring tropical sun and, lo' and behold, I did not get burned...at all! Amazing. I am VERY fair skinned. When I was a little girl I went out in the sun for just a few hours and the next day my entire face puffed up like three times it's normal size all because of too much sun exposure and I couldn't go out in the sun for the entire rest of the vacation! BUT, this time I actually read the directions on the sun block, which was spf 50, and I actually waited 20 minutes once I had put the sunblock on, before going out in the sun, as the directions suggested, and it worked!! Heh...I am revolutionized. This is amazing. I never knew that sunblock actually worked. Who knew that following directions would yield such fabulous, earth shaking results! ;)
Oh, and on another brighter note, while it's been interesting here in subic, I am very much ready to be leaving here tomorrow afternoon and getting back to normal...hopefully my headache will be totally gone by then, too! And I would have had a ton of awesome pictures to put up, but I left my camera cord at home! ugh. stupid jenny. but i'll upload a few once I get back. I guess that's all for now. The diet has been suspended for today...heh...not likeing my lack of discipline too much..at all...it's ruining my vacation, so i really need to learn to deal with this somehow for future vacations. I refuse to let my diet rule my life, but I don't want to allow the lack of a diet to ruin my life either -- and feeling and being fat ruins my life. But anyway, I have taken a temporary retreat, but i'm going to do a whole lot more advancing on my shedding of weight once I get back to Manila and get back to normal! Alright, I'll write when I can, I may not have internet access tomorrow while i"m traveling...later blogging buddies. :)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Day 29
Yipers, today I went walking for 2 whole hours! I was walking rather quickly, too. A guy on a bike was "cross-training" and pulled up next to me while I was walking and asked me if I was "in training" too. heh. I was wearing an "iron-man" t-shirt that I picked up somewhere - no, I have never been in an iron man competition thing...that's just crazy. I've never run a marathon either, and I don't think I ever will even though I love running and used to run in high school But yeah, I thought that was funny that he thought I was "in training"... but anyway, I'm thinking because I was walking rather briskly that I easily covered a mile every 15 minutes....which means, I walked about 8-9 miles today! wowzers. That's kind of impressive. then I got home and I ate a healthy lunch - roasted chicken deli slices, pickles, an apple and some almonds and of course, gallons of water. I was sooo thirsty when I got back. I mean, it was 94 degrees out there, not to mention the humidity. But...when dinner came around I payed for it. I started out well, but then i felt super duper quadruper (yes, it so is a word..ok probably not) hungry. And of course, Mary baked a cake...what is wrong with this girl. heh. she's like super skinny, like anorexic skinny.
anyway, I couldn't resist the cake, I was so hungry. I picked at it, because of course, putting it on a plate is just wrong! haha. then I had some spoon fulls of ice-cream, and two oreo cookies...and then 3 blow-pops ....heh..random assortment of food disasters at the end of my day. And now I have a super headache. I think it's from all the walking. I probably didn't drink enough water...I dunno. It's rather annoying...like I said earlier, I don't get headaches all that often...this is the second one in like a week. ugh. Probably the combination of all that sugar and too much time in the sun...vacation days...heh....i'm sort of letting the vacation kick me in the butt. You know what, I think I'm just going to stop trying so hard to be super good and just let myself enjoy vacation. It's only for a few more days - until thursday - so...yeah. Perhaps if I take the stress off of trying to eat right during vacation I won't be tempted to eat as much bad food.
anyway, I couldn't resist the cake, I was so hungry. I picked at it, because of course, putting it on a plate is just wrong! haha. then I had some spoon fulls of ice-cream, and two oreo cookies...and then 3 blow-pops ....heh..random assortment of food disasters at the end of my day. And now I have a super headache. I think it's from all the walking. I probably didn't drink enough water...I dunno. It's rather annoying...like I said earlier, I don't get headaches all that often...this is the second one in like a week. ugh. Probably the combination of all that sugar and too much time in the sun...vacation days...heh....i'm sort of letting the vacation kick me in the butt. You know what, I think I'm just going to stop trying so hard to be super good and just let myself enjoy vacation. It's only for a few more days - until thursday - so...yeah. Perhaps if I take the stress off of trying to eat right during vacation I won't be tempted to eat as much bad food.
Monday, March 15, 2010
UGH!!!
SUPER UGH! So it's been a few hours since that last post and I'm posting again because...well...I failed at tonight. sigh. Today was soo good up until we all went grocery shopping up here (Subic Bay) and I realized their grocery store sold like NO produce...The lettuce that they did have was super expensive and looked like it had fallen out of a truck, then run over by a semi only to be eaten by a rabbit and then pooped out onto the grocery store shelf. . . ok. . . I exaggerate. The lettuce wasn't that bad. . . I don't think there even are any wild rabbits in the Philippines, anyway. Sigh. So, I realized my patterned eating, while it is a blessing because I honestly don't get bored eating the same things each day, can really be a curse as well when the stuff i'm used to eating is unavailable. It's like I don't know what to do if I can't get the stuff I'm used to eating everyday. And to top it all off, they didn't sell any low-calorie salad dressing. I LOVE salad dressing, French Dressing is my favorite dressing in the world so far, I can't live without it...obviously tonight is the proof of that. So when I got back from grocery shopping and unloaded the rabbit pooh lettuce into the fridge I kind of freaked out.
The pizza came and I ate two pieces...but I neglected to drink any milk or even eat the lettuce. I don't know, some mental breakdown occurred because I didn't have my salad dressing so I didn't want my salad and I plain forgot about the milk. So I was still super hungry, and I...sigh...grabbed a piece of that chocolate cheesecake from HELL. haha. It was good. But not worth it. Sigh...it seems like every two weeks I have one of these "episodes"....what to do. Being on vacation is super hard, especially in a foreign country that doesn't stock basic things like salad dressing and lettuce, but never seems to run out of unhealthy imported stuff like doritos and lays and cream cheese for cheesecake..ugh...
The pizza came and I ate two pieces...but I neglected to drink any milk or even eat the lettuce. I don't know, some mental breakdown occurred because I didn't have my salad dressing so I didn't want my salad and I plain forgot about the milk. So I was still super hungry, and I...sigh...grabbed a piece of that chocolate cheesecake from HELL. haha. It was good. But not worth it. Sigh...it seems like every two weeks I have one of these "episodes"....what to do. Being on vacation is super hard, especially in a foreign country that doesn't stock basic things like salad dressing and lettuce, but never seems to run out of unhealthy imported stuff like doritos and lays and cream cheese for cheesecake..ugh...
Day 28 - (Day 1 of Subic Vacation!)
Alright, Day One of Subic:
There is a TON of junk food everywhere I look because all of us girls are staying in one tiny apartment up here together, with some of the guys next door in the other apartment thing. These people...they eat so much junk food and they still seem to be maintaining their weight....I honestly don't know how they do it....perhaps my metabolism really is slower than other people's. But it could be that I'm also shorter than all of them as well. Plus, and brace yourself for this, both my parents together weigh about 210 lbs...that's their NET weight people! Yeah, that's right, they both weigh about 105 pounds respectively. Yes...I come from "petite" Italian stalkiness....ahem I mean, stock! ;)
So for me, saying I want to be 110-115 pounds is generous because I'm even shorter than my mom and she still weighs less than me. But I do have a lot more muscle than her so I think that's the difference. Muscle does weigh more than fat, or, in my mom's case, lack of muscle period weighs less than muscle. heh she seems super fragile these days. She used to be a little overweight...overweight for her would mean like weighing 118 or something! heh. So a few years back she lost I guess 14 pounds to weight around 104 something around there. And I'd have to say, she did look a little frail as though she had lost some muscle, plus she just turned 60. But she now goes walking everyday and even lifts weights like three times a week plus people always say she looks way younger than she is, so yeah. I guess it's been good for her and honestly she does look healthy, and once she started walking again she looked much stronger even though she still weighs about 104-105. Plus, I also remember hearing a scientist on Discovery Channel say that people who were 10-15 pounds underweight actually lived significantly longer than those who were normal weight.
So, I'm glad my mom is slightly underweight, cuz that means she'll probably live for a long time! :) That gives me a lot of potential incentive, as in, when I'm her age I'm definitely going to make sure I stay slim. Just watching how active she is able to be at that age is really inspiring. She's such a good example to me, she really motivates me to stay healthy.
Anyway! heh, tonight we're ordering pizza - Yellow Cab pizza. Yummers. It's super good, very different from pizza hut pizza - which apparently, is not the only pizza place here, yay! :) But, I'm planning on only eating one piece this time...I hope I can resist the temptation to eat more. I think I'll make myself a BIG salad - like 3 cups of lettuce!! - and lots of veggies. I dunno, though. We'll see....wish me luck! :)
There is a TON of junk food everywhere I look because all of us girls are staying in one tiny apartment up here together, with some of the guys next door in the other apartment thing. These people...they eat so much junk food and they still seem to be maintaining their weight....I honestly don't know how they do it....perhaps my metabolism really is slower than other people's. But it could be that I'm also shorter than all of them as well. Plus, and brace yourself for this, both my parents together weigh about 210 lbs...that's their NET weight people! Yeah, that's right, they both weigh about 105 pounds respectively. Yes...I come from "petite" Italian stalkiness....ahem I mean, stock! ;)
So for me, saying I want to be 110-115 pounds is generous because I'm even shorter than my mom and she still weighs less than me. But I do have a lot more muscle than her so I think that's the difference. Muscle does weigh more than fat, or, in my mom's case, lack of muscle period weighs less than muscle. heh she seems super fragile these days. She used to be a little overweight...overweight for her would mean like weighing 118 or something! heh. So a few years back she lost I guess 14 pounds to weight around 104 something around there. And I'd have to say, she did look a little frail as though she had lost some muscle, plus she just turned 60. But she now goes walking everyday and even lifts weights like three times a week plus people always say she looks way younger than she is, so yeah. I guess it's been good for her and honestly she does look healthy, and once she started walking again she looked much stronger even though she still weighs about 104-105. Plus, I also remember hearing a scientist on Discovery Channel say that people who were 10-15 pounds underweight actually lived significantly longer than those who were normal weight.
So, I'm glad my mom is slightly underweight, cuz that means she'll probably live for a long time! :) That gives me a lot of potential incentive, as in, when I'm her age I'm definitely going to make sure I stay slim. Just watching how active she is able to be at that age is really inspiring. She's such a good example to me, she really motivates me to stay healthy.
Anyway! heh, tonight we're ordering pizza - Yellow Cab pizza. Yummers. It's super good, very different from pizza hut pizza - which apparently, is not the only pizza place here, yay! :) But, I'm planning on only eating one piece this time...I hope I can resist the temptation to eat more. I think I'll make myself a BIG salad - like 3 cups of lettuce!! - and lots of veggies. I dunno, though. We'll see....wish me luck! :)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Day 27 - Subic Bay...AND CHEESECAKE!
Alright, so today I am going to a place called Subic Bay and I'm going to be there until this coming Thursday...I'm excited. From what my friends have been telling me it's super fun and I'm going with some fun people so I'm thinking it's going to be good!! But I am worried about what I'm going to eat while I'm there. I mean...I guess I could pack up all my apples and carrots and frozen turkey patties etc. But...ugh...I just don't want to go through all the trouble of doing that, 1) because the trip to Subic will take about four hours of driving (hence the cold food will get hot and probably rotten - rotting turkey patties...gross) and 2) I'm too tired to actually go and pack 12 apples and 12 carrots oh and skim milk, and then go dig up a cooler from somewhere for my frozen turkey patties which will invariably defrost and rot because of the hot sun - I guess technically that should go in category one...but my teacher said you should always have a '2' if there's a '1'...so I had to add a 2 to my list...heh stupid english - take that, I'm not capitalizing you, wahahah!
ok...moving on...
So, yeah, still undecided. BUT, and you all should be super proud of me, because I sure am, while we were packing, of which I probably should be finishing up right now - naughty jenny - Mary, one of the girls who shares this house with me (I have got to stop introducing her everytime! heh, just remember her...her name is Mary, she lives in the same house as me and shares my rent along with three other girls - Tami, Abby, and Melissa, all of whom work with me in an orphanage over here for a NGO - and she loves to bake), so yes, anyway, Mary, asked me to pack up the chocolate cheese cake thing that she made last night so that we could all munch on it on the way up to Subic...ugh...like I said on Thursday (click me), I didn't even want to look at it because I thought it would tempt me. But now I have to not only look at it, but "handle" it as I slice it up and pack it away for the trip. BUT...and i'm super proud of myself, mission accomplished and I didn't eat a crumb!!! YAY...super big battle for me, but I overcame it. And with every step forward, I feel I am growing stronger. :)
ok...moving on...
So, yeah, still undecided. BUT, and you all should be super proud of me, because I sure am, while we were packing, of which I probably should be finishing up right now - naughty jenny - Mary, one of the girls who shares this house with me (I have got to stop introducing her everytime! heh, just remember her...her name is Mary, she lives in the same house as me and shares my rent along with three other girls - Tami, Abby, and Melissa, all of whom work with me in an orphanage over here for a NGO - and she loves to bake), so yes, anyway, Mary, asked me to pack up the chocolate cheese cake thing that she made last night so that we could all munch on it on the way up to Subic...ugh...like I said on Thursday (click me), I didn't even want to look at it because I thought it would tempt me. But now I have to not only look at it, but "handle" it as I slice it up and pack it away for the trip. BUT...and i'm super proud of myself, mission accomplished and I didn't eat a crumb!!! YAY...super big battle for me, but I overcame it. And with every step forward, I feel I am growing stronger. :)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Day 26 - FRIDAY MADNESS!
Alright so Friday....heh. Friday started out ok in the morning and afternoon, got rough right before dinner, then turned ok, during dinner, then got rough again right after. haha. It centered around my paper...and of course...FOOD!
This LOOOONG paper has really affected (effected?) my spirits lately. But, yes, I just finished it and have just now submitted it and I feel sort of good. But, like i said earlier (click me) I am a perfectionist...a perfectionist who realizes she's a perfectionist and most times wishes she was not a perfectionist. But, hey! Maybe I'm on the road to recovery! I mean they say - whomever they are - that if you think you're crazy then you're not crazy anymore...ah Catch-22...what a great read. But yes, so I hate how being a perfectionist makes me feel upset sometimes - like right now, for instance. I mean, I just finished my monster paper, as in I just turned it in like five minutes ago...FINALLY....So...naturally, I should be happy, right? Well, I am, but it's heavily coated like a hotdog smathered in ketchup with regret ...hm...that's a rather odd analogy...the hotdog must be my happiness and the smathering of ketchup my regret? hm...yeah that doesn't quite work out.
Anyway, the gist of it is, I'm feeling upset at myself that I didn't spend more time perfecting this one section which I found impossible to perfect, and oh baaaby - when something that is impossible to perfect meets up with a perfectionist a quagmire of dark twisting, murky, muddy, paths into darkness and confusion occur. As my good friend Alice says once she finds herself in Wonderland, "curiouser and curiouser." Yes, Alice, it certainly was. Writing this paper was definitely like working my way through the seemingly never ending scary, randomness of Wonderland...only i'm not on drugs! heh.
Anyway. So I was working on my paper, took a break to eat dinner...and oh baby....heh. We ordered pizza as per our usual Girl's Friday Night routine and I ate two slices of cheesy yummy stuffed crust pizza - pizza hut is like the only pizza place here, but it's still good. So yeah, that probably had a ton of calories but I think I was taking my frustration of not finishing my paper out by being happy with eating food. I then had a big bowl of microwave popcorn. I LOVE popcorn. heh. But this was the light kind so it only ended up being like 300 calories. But I was still hungry, so I had some more of that leftover rosemary roasted pork tenderloin which is nice and lean. heh like it matters after I ate all that fat from the pizza anyway. But the thing is, as I said in the second sentence of this post, dinner was a good thing. I didn't feel bad eating that stuff because I had worked for it the entire week. Everyone needs a break sometimes, and friday is my break. Not that I eat desserts. I still am resolved not to because right now, they are my biggest weakness, my trigger foods that bar none, lead to binges. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy splurging a bit once a week on other foods. Because for me, I can handle eating other types of "junk" food in moderation, like pizza. So yay. This friday was good in the diet department.
I did break down though after dinner and I even shed a few tears of frustration, not because of the food, but because of the paper that I still had to finish up! But, sigh...i'm finished now. (breathes). And even though I'm not exactly pleased with one section, I am confident that I'll still get at the very least a B+ or an A- on it....so yeah, I should be happy. I am happy...I am the hotdog of happiness...I swear! I'm just smothered with a little bit of regretful ketchup as well. ;)
This LOOOONG paper has really affected (effected?) my spirits lately. But, yes, I just finished it and have just now submitted it and I feel sort of good. But, like i said earlier (click me) I am a perfectionist...a perfectionist who realizes she's a perfectionist and most times wishes she was not a perfectionist. But, hey! Maybe I'm on the road to recovery! I mean they say - whomever they are - that if you think you're crazy then you're not crazy anymore...ah Catch-22...what a great read. But yes, so I hate how being a perfectionist makes me feel upset sometimes - like right now, for instance. I mean, I just finished my monster paper, as in I just turned it in like five minutes ago...FINALLY....So...naturally, I should be happy, right? Well, I am, but it's heavily coated like a hotdog smathered in ketchup with regret ...hm...that's a rather odd analogy...the hotdog must be my happiness and the smathering of ketchup my regret? hm...yeah that doesn't quite work out.
Anyway, the gist of it is, I'm feeling upset at myself that I didn't spend more time perfecting this one section which I found impossible to perfect, and oh baaaby - when something that is impossible to perfect meets up with a perfectionist a quagmire of dark twisting, murky, muddy, paths into darkness and confusion occur. As my good friend Alice says once she finds herself in Wonderland, "curiouser and curiouser." Yes, Alice, it certainly was. Writing this paper was definitely like working my way through the seemingly never ending scary, randomness of Wonderland...only i'm not on drugs! heh.
Anyway. So I was working on my paper, took a break to eat dinner...and oh baby....heh. We ordered pizza as per our usual Girl's Friday Night routine and I ate two slices of cheesy yummy stuffed crust pizza - pizza hut is like the only pizza place here, but it's still good. So yeah, that probably had a ton of calories but I think I was taking my frustration of not finishing my paper out by being happy with eating food. I then had a big bowl of microwave popcorn. I LOVE popcorn. heh. But this was the light kind so it only ended up being like 300 calories. But I was still hungry, so I had some more of that leftover rosemary roasted pork tenderloin which is nice and lean. heh like it matters after I ate all that fat from the pizza anyway. But the thing is, as I said in the second sentence of this post, dinner was a good thing. I didn't feel bad eating that stuff because I had worked for it the entire week. Everyone needs a break sometimes, and friday is my break. Not that I eat desserts. I still am resolved not to because right now, they are my biggest weakness, my trigger foods that bar none, lead to binges. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy splurging a bit once a week on other foods. Because for me, I can handle eating other types of "junk" food in moderation, like pizza. So yay. This friday was good in the diet department.
I did break down though after dinner and I even shed a few tears of frustration, not because of the food, but because of the paper that I still had to finish up! But, sigh...i'm finished now. (breathes). And even though I'm not exactly pleased with one section, I am confident that I'll still get at the very least a B+ or an A- on it....so yeah, I should be happy. I am happy...I am the hotdog of happiness...I swear! I'm just smothered with a little bit of regretful ketchup as well. ;)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Day 25
This is a field a couple of miles from where I work every morning. I think they're rice fields, but I'm not sure! But aren't these clouds
AMAZING!! It was such a weird thing to look at, as though I
could touch them or something! So crazy
Day 25 ~
(6:20 a.m.) Breakfast: 1 apple, 6 almonds, 12oz skim milk
(1:00 p.m.) Lunch: 3 oz roasted rosemary pork-loin, 6 cups air-popped popcorn
(3:10 p.m.) Snack: 1 apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:15 p.m.) Snack: 1 cup chopped carrots (raw)
(7:10 p.m.) Dinner: 2 cups salad greens, 3 oz roasted rosemary pork-loin, 12 oz skim milk
Ok, so I had 2 servings of popcorn (which in my diet is 6 cups - as in, 1 serving of popcorn = 3 cups) because I somehow forgot to buy more whole wheat bread! Ugh, i missed eating my crunch toasted whole wheat bread, but I'll live! heh Actually the popcorn wasn't all that bad, just different. But they have the same amount of fiber - if not more in popcorn than my bread - so that's good, it will keep me feeling full longer. Happy Thursday. :)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Day 24 - Some Changes in What I'm Eating
Today started out well even though I only got five hours of sleep instead of my usual six and a half. I got up and felt super refreshed. But now that it's evening, I'm starting to feel it. I feel kind of hungry and yet I don't really feel like eating at the same time! Heh. it's an odd feeling. I think I need more activity!!! Sitting on my bum working on a paper is not the best of things to do for your health or appetite plus the humid hot weather doesn't do much for it either! heh. I think I've been eating too much broccoli, lately, too! I hope I don't get sick of it. I love broccoli but too much of a good thing can lead to a bad thing! Ok, well, still working on my paper - it's already 20 pages long and I still have to write at least another 5! heh...it's a beast! I hope my professor doesn't mind that it's already one going on two days late!
Day 24
(6:00 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 apple, 6 almonds, 10 oz skim milk
(11:00 a.m.) Lunch - spicy turkey burger/patty with 2 pieces whole wheat toast, 12 oz water
(4:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup sliced carrots (raw), 8 oz water
(7:40 p.m.) Dinner - 3 oz rosemary seasoned, roasted pork tenderloin (super yummy), 2 cups salad greens, 1 cup broccoli, 10 oz skim milk
So some dietary changes have been that I've started to drink more water. I dunno if this is actually a good thing. In the old days I used to drink about 1 mug full of water a day during lunch and that was it! Heh, I didn't really notice any side-affects from that but from what I've read it's not good for you...But the annoying thing with drinking more water is that I'm constantly having to use the bathroom...I guess I have a tiny bladder or something! but sheesh....having to pee like four times a day is annoying! I think all the veggies and fruit contribute to the water in my system as well so that could account for some of it. Oh and another change is that I'm drinking SKIM milk instead of 2% milk. It's not so much because of the fat content, but simply because I don't like the taste of milk all that much and the skim milk tastes more neutral to me. Although I think some of the side-affects could be that skim milk has a bunch of sugar with no fat to slow your body down from digesting the sugar...hm...I hope it doesn't end up making me more hungry later on in the day...so far though it's been alright. :) oh and no headache today! Just a body that wishes it could have a little more activity than sitting in front of a computer screen!
Day 24
(6:00 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 apple, 6 almonds, 10 oz skim milk
(11:00 a.m.) Lunch - spicy turkey burger/patty with 2 pieces whole wheat toast, 12 oz water
(4:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup sliced carrots (raw), 8 oz water
(7:40 p.m.) Dinner - 3 oz rosemary seasoned, roasted pork tenderloin (super yummy), 2 cups salad greens, 1 cup broccoli, 10 oz skim milk
So some dietary changes have been that I've started to drink more water. I dunno if this is actually a good thing. In the old days I used to drink about 1 mug full of water a day during lunch and that was it! Heh, I didn't really notice any side-affects from that but from what I've read it's not good for you...But the annoying thing with drinking more water is that I'm constantly having to use the bathroom...I guess I have a tiny bladder or something! but sheesh....having to pee like four times a day is annoying! I think all the veggies and fruit contribute to the water in my system as well so that could account for some of it. Oh and another change is that I'm drinking SKIM milk instead of 2% milk. It's not so much because of the fat content, but simply because I don't like the taste of milk all that much and the skim milk tastes more neutral to me. Although I think some of the side-affects could be that skim milk has a bunch of sugar with no fat to slow your body down from digesting the sugar...hm...I hope it doesn't end up making me more hungry later on in the day...so far though it's been alright. :) oh and no headache today! Just a body that wishes it could have a little more activity than sitting in front of a computer screen!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Day 23 - Getting Enough Food!
So, WowZERS! I have got THE worst headache EVER. haha. oh man. I usually never get headaches, this is probably my first headache in like years. I think it's because I've been working so hard on my Anthro paper, which, by the way, is almost done. Hopefully it will be completely done by the next six hours, but it's sure shaping up to be a loooong paper!
Anyway, as for my diet, it's been going well, but my headache is really starting to make me loose my appetite. I calculated how much I had eaten after I finished dinner and it was only around 85o calories...yikes! that is WAY too low. So I think I'm going to go drink a cup of milk (120 calories) and then eat half a piece of toast with jam to bump it up to at least 1000 or something. I mean, even though I don't feel hungry right now, I know tomorrow I will and yeah, my body always retaliates when I don't feed it enough! So yeah, I guess the moral of the story is eat nutritiously even when you feel sick, I know I will be grateful come tomorrow that I did.
Anyway, as for my diet, it's been going well, but my headache is really starting to make me loose my appetite. I calculated how much I had eaten after I finished dinner and it was only around 85o calories...yikes! that is WAY too low. So I think I'm going to go drink a cup of milk (120 calories) and then eat half a piece of toast with jam to bump it up to at least 1000 or something. I mean, even though I don't feel hungry right now, I know tomorrow I will and yeah, my body always retaliates when I don't feed it enough! So yeah, I guess the moral of the story is eat nutritiously even when you feel sick, I know I will be grateful come tomorrow that I did.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Day 22 - Lost 2 lbs! :) YAY!
So, I'm still working on my anthro paper UGH! BUT, the good news is that I just did my Monday Weigh-In and yay!! I lost two pounds!!! :) Super happy about this. Hopefully the euphoria won't wear off as I work my butt off on this paper - it's already 12 pages long and I still have at least another 12 pages to write. Oh baby, that's long! alright, I better get off now! I'll write more tomorrow...if, that is, I finish this paper!!
Later, folks! :)
Later, folks! :)
Monday, March 8, 2010
Day 21 - Anthropology Paper DUE tomorrow...YIKES...
First off, sorry there haven't been any pictures for this and yesterday's post, I've been rather busy with an online class I'm taking which has a an ungodly sized paper due in 25 hours respectively and is worth 30% of my grade for the course! Ugh. I'm dying. It's a paper about culture and how it affects (or is it "effects"? ugh! hahah) a person's world view. Rather basic anthropology stuff but yeah, it's killing me right now, so I have to keep this post brief! Today has been good. I didn't overeat or even crave anything sweet so that's good!! Tomorrow is my weigh-in day and I'm excited. I hope I've lost two pounds. I feel like I have, at least. But even if I haven't I'll still be pleased because it's not just about how much I weight but also how I look. I have the tendency to think I need to weigh a certain number, when in reality the weight I am at when I like my body is actually a higher number on the scale than my "goal" number. So, depending on how my body looks, I may loose less than 15 pounds....perhaps I only need to loose around 10-12 pounds. I shall see when I'm there. But for now, I've got to stay focused on where I'm at and not get giddy thinking about what could be. Focus on today.
Alright, well, I had a ton of fun things to say but I just don't have time, so I'll have to hold them off until later on this week when I finish my anthro paper. :)
Day 21
same old stuff...heh...too busy to post it...actually, perhaps I'll only post what i've eaten if it's actually different from what I eat everyday..haha..yeah, I'm such a patterned eater, it's crazy how much it doesn't bother me when it really should! I think right now I'm "in the zone" as I like to call it. totally focused on losing the weight...perhaps after i'm done with the weight loss I can have more fun experimenting with different foods, but as for now, I am focused...I'm going to loose this weight! Honestly, the hardest part for me is not the loosing weight but the next step of maintaining my goal weight...but i'm actually looking forward to that too. ok i'm really stopping writing now!!! On to my paper, wish me luck! :)
Alright, well, I had a ton of fun things to say but I just don't have time, so I'll have to hold them off until later on this week when I finish my anthro paper. :)
Day 21
same old stuff...heh...too busy to post it...actually, perhaps I'll only post what i've eaten if it's actually different from what I eat everyday..haha..yeah, I'm such a patterned eater, it's crazy how much it doesn't bother me when it really should! I think right now I'm "in the zone" as I like to call it. totally focused on losing the weight...perhaps after i'm done with the weight loss I can have more fun experimenting with different foods, but as for now, I am focused...I'm going to loose this weight! Honestly, the hardest part for me is not the loosing weight but the next step of maintaining my goal weight...but i'm actually looking forward to that too. ok i'm really stopping writing now!!! On to my paper, wish me luck! :)
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Day 20 - How I Sabotage Myself With Food!
Heh, so yeah, today I was super duper hungry!!! hahah. Oh man, I think it was more of a mental thing than it was a physical thing. I think it began with my looking in a full length mirror this morning when I woke up. I really did look a whole lot better in the mirror after 6 days of heavy dieting. My stomach, the one place I always check out first when I look in the mirror, always looks better fairly quickly - I guess that's one place I gain and loose weight quickly, or at least it's the one place where I seem to notice weight loss or weight gain the most quickly, if that even makes sense, which I'm sure it does not!
But anyway, whenever I start to look even the smallest bit the way I want my body to look, I freak out mentally and feel that I don't deserve it. As though, and I'm trying to express this clearly, but it's as though I have been so conditioned to believe that I will never be able to have the perfect body, that when I start to see glimpses of it showing through I freak out and sabotage myself with intense thoughts telling me that I need food and I need it now! I think also something to do with it, or at least the part that I sabotage myself with overeating, of all things, has to do with another ingrained belief that in order to have a slim, in-shape, toned body I must never enjoy food again - a thought, which of course, would freak out any sane person. And it's also, ironically, a thought which, frankly, I do not believe to be true.
While I do believe that sugary, starchy, fatty food is not healthy for your body, that does not mean that I have to feel unsatisfied each day in terms of what I eat. Sugary, fatty foods do not equal satisfaction and fullness. I know this is true. The idea that I am feeding my body healthy foods actually makes me happy inside. I know not everyone is like this, but I'm grateful that I am. I like eating things I know are good for my body. I like seeing my body change and become well shaped all on it's own as I feed it good, healthy foods in needed portions each day. Yes, I tend to be more of a scientist in this regard, but I love how reliable the body is - if you are good to it, it will be good to you. Seriously.
So anyway, back to my hunger sparked by my mental psychotic-ness, while there was a cake on the table just sitting there looking beautiful to my lustful eyes, I was able to resist it, but I do think I ate too much ground beef tonight simply because I was trying to curb my desire for cake. And I only allowed myself to desire cake because I felt so good about my body. See, the break down was built upon mental perceptions and preconditions. But, knowing them, will help me break them in the end! Day 20 - moderate success! :)
Day 20
(8:00 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 green apple, 6 almonds, 1 cup 2% milk
(1:00 p.m.) Lunch - 3 oz chicken breast, 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 12 oz water
(3:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 medium green apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup chopped carrots (raw), 8 oz water
(8:20 p.m.) Snack - 3 oz chicken breast
(8:45 p.m.) Dinner - 3/4 cup 80% lean seasoned ground beef, 4 cups salad greens, low calorie Italian dressing, 12 oz water
(9:40 p.m.) Snack - 240 calories worth of popcorn
But anyway, whenever I start to look even the smallest bit the way I want my body to look, I freak out mentally and feel that I don't deserve it. As though, and I'm trying to express this clearly, but it's as though I have been so conditioned to believe that I will never be able to have the perfect body, that when I start to see glimpses of it showing through I freak out and sabotage myself with intense thoughts telling me that I need food and I need it now! I think also something to do with it, or at least the part that I sabotage myself with overeating, of all things, has to do with another ingrained belief that in order to have a slim, in-shape, toned body I must never enjoy food again - a thought, which of course, would freak out any sane person. And it's also, ironically, a thought which, frankly, I do not believe to be true.
While I do believe that sugary, starchy, fatty food is not healthy for your body, that does not mean that I have to feel unsatisfied each day in terms of what I eat. Sugary, fatty foods do not equal satisfaction and fullness. I know this is true. The idea that I am feeding my body healthy foods actually makes me happy inside. I know not everyone is like this, but I'm grateful that I am. I like eating things I know are good for my body. I like seeing my body change and become well shaped all on it's own as I feed it good, healthy foods in needed portions each day. Yes, I tend to be more of a scientist in this regard, but I love how reliable the body is - if you are good to it, it will be good to you. Seriously.
So anyway, back to my hunger sparked by my mental psychotic-ness, while there was a cake on the table just sitting there looking beautiful to my lustful eyes, I was able to resist it, but I do think I ate too much ground beef tonight simply because I was trying to curb my desire for cake. And I only allowed myself to desire cake because I felt so good about my body. See, the break down was built upon mental perceptions and preconditions. But, knowing them, will help me break them in the end! Day 20 - moderate success! :)
Day 20
(8:00 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 green apple, 6 almonds, 1 cup 2% milk
(1:00 p.m.) Lunch - 3 oz chicken breast, 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 12 oz water
(3:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 medium green apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup chopped carrots (raw), 8 oz water
(8:20 p.m.) Snack - 3 oz chicken breast
(8:45 p.m.) Dinner - 3/4 cup 80% lean seasoned ground beef, 4 cups salad greens, low calorie Italian dressing, 12 oz water
(9:40 p.m.) Snack - 240 calories worth of popcorn
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Day 19 - Unexpected Cake and Snacks...
So wow, today has been fun! I just got back (about an hour and thirty minutes ago, really) from watching Tim Burton's movie, Alice and Wonderland and it was pretty good. I liked watching Johnny Depp, he's a super good actor. But I didn't like Anne Hathaway too much, though...I dunno, perhaps it wasn't her acting that annoyed me, perhaps it was just her character that was annoying - either way though, to me, she was more annoying than funny. But kudos to Burton, it was entertaining.Alright, so I got home, and what did I find out! Two of the girls I'm sharing the house with over here decided to go out and buy Tostitos, Lays, salsa, m&m's, a cake and ice-cream as well to munch on while watching episodes of The Office together. Heh, these girls are psychotic. I mean, they're great, but heh, they're also crazy and for some reason, they're not even fat. I don't even know how that works out! haha. So yeah, while I thought I wouldn't have to worry about cake sitting in the fridge over the weekend to tempt me (click me), I guess I was WRONG! heh. But the good news is, I'm about to go to bed and I haven't eaten any of the snacks! Woot Woot! (The sound a train makes...heh...um...indicating happiness haha). So I think I've successfully passed a milestone in my life. Honestly, I was a bit hungry when I got home, but instead of eating sugary, fatty, starchy foods, I ate some crunchy and crisp broccoli and cauliflower.
heh, I'm not going to lie and say I felt perfectly full and content, I was hungry, but for some reason, the decision to skip desserts helped mentally. If I can't snack on desserts, there's nothing really else to snack on except food that no one really wants to snack on like broccoli and cauliflower!! haha.So this day was a great success. I am definitely excited for my Monday Weigh-In coming up. I've been tempted several times today to step on the scale and see how much I've lost, but no...heh, I'm going to wait until Monday. I hope tomorrow (Saturday, which is technically today) goes as well as today went! Peace peoples.
:)
Day 18 - A Bit Different Eating Than Normal!
(5:30 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 apple, 6 almonds, 1 cup 2% milk
(12:00 p.m.) Lunch - (chicken sandwich) 3 oz chicken breast, 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 12 oz water
(3:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:00 p.m.) Snack - 250 grams fat-free, natural yogurt (MY SpECial EXsPENesIVe YOGURT!!), 1 cup chopped carrots (raw), 8 oz water
(7:00 p.m.) Dinner - Half a serving of Stromboli, 12 oz Diet Pepsi
(12:00 a.m.) Snack - 1 cup grilled broccoli and cauliflower with curry powder, 2 oz chicken breast (I had forgotten to eat any protein for dinner!)
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Day 18 - Mainit!!!
Water lilies!Note the glaring reflection of the SUN!!!!
I think the heat has something to do with the humidity factor of the tropics as well. I mean, I'm from California so I'm not foreign to the concept of "mainit" but man...desert heat is different from sticky, humid, oppressive tropical heat. Luckily for me, I get to be in "air-con" as they call it here...at least for now while I complete my four-week training session. On March 14 I'm going to be going to another part of the Philippines called "Subic Bay" for a week as a break/vacation. I'm excited about that. But I'll talk about that later when it's actually closer to happening!
As for today, a break-through happened at the store today! While I was shopping I found a little carton (250 grams) of 99.9% fat free, plain yogurt! Uhuh...you know it!!! Party at my house, tonight!!! Haha, I don't think you properly appreciate the significance of this quite momentous discovery! The whole time I've been here I've never seen fat-free, plain yogurt before...I'm so happy about this. I would have bought the whole freaking shelf full..heh, who am I kidding, there were only like 20 total on the shelf -- probably in the entire Philippines. Shoot, they're so going to be gone....heh, now that I think of it in that way, I probably should have bought them all. I would have too, but then I found out that they cost 49 pesos............each.
That's over 1 whole stinking dollar! That's like a dollar and 10 cents for half a cup of plain yogurt...ugh...I definitely cannot afford to buy that. So I bought one...just one...*sigh*
Oh well. I don't care that much, but I'm realizing that is something I definitely miss about being home. :( I'm realizing how many amazing food options there are in America. Everything here is so primitive or imported and SUPER expensive and there are practically no diet associated products at all. But there are also far less yummy bad foods as well, so I guess I should be thankful! :)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Day 17 - Life Is Looking Good! :)
Well, today has been good. Hurrah. :) I feel physically very energetic, and I even had a dream that I was training to ride in a bicycle marathon. Hahah, it was a funny dream. I never actually got to the marathon part though, the whole dream was about preparing for the marathon. haha. Perhaps it's mean to signify that I will reach my weight-loss goals, one day at a time. :) I again feel super glad that I cut out desserts from my diet until I loose the weight I want (or rather, don't want!). I haven't craved anything sugary once this entire week and it's already Wednesday. :) Very thrilled about this. Plus, this coming Friday I will be going out to see Alice In Wonderland with some people I've met here. It's a good thing because I'll have the option to refuse ordering dessert, whereas if I stayed at home and one of the girls sharing the house with me made some dessert it would be sitting in the fridge tempting me every time I open the door. This way there will be no desserts in the fridge as we're all going out. Very cool. :)
Day 17
(6:30 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 medium green apple, 6 almonds, 1 cup 2% milk
(1:10 p.m.) Lunch - Turkey burger with 2 pieces whole wheat bread
(3:10 p.m.) Snack - 1 medium green apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup chopped carrots (raw)
(7:30 p.m.) Dinner - Not sure yet...
Hm...looking over my dietary habits I've come to the realization that I am a patterned eater. haha. I eat basically the same thing everyday and surprisingly, it doesn't get old for me. I guess I should be thankful for this inclination of mine to be complacent with eating the same types of food everyday. heh...I'm such a freak. ;)
Day 17
(6:30 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 medium green apple, 6 almonds, 1 cup 2% milk
(1:10 p.m.) Lunch - Turkey burger with 2 pieces whole wheat bread
(3:10 p.m.) Snack - 1 medium green apple, 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(5:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup chopped carrots (raw)
(7:30 p.m.) Dinner - Not sure yet...
Hm...looking over my dietary habits I've come to the realization that I am a patterned eater. haha. I eat basically the same thing everyday and surprisingly, it doesn't get old for me. I guess I should be thankful for this inclination of mine to be complacent with eating the same types of food everyday. heh...I'm such a freak. ;)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Day 16 - Wild Flowers!! :)
So I found these little guys growing outside when I went on an afternoon walk today. They're actually super small, each one of those flowers is like the size of like half a tic-tac. haha, that's all I could think of to compare them to. Anyway, they're amazing and they are definitely bright and cheery. :) That's how I feel today - bright and cheery. The more I think about the decision I made to cut out desserts (click me) the more I am happy about it. I didn't realize how stressful it was to have to mess with sugary, fatty foods once a week while trying to loose weight at the same time. But the relief I feel after making the choice to cut them out is actually very surprising.Heh, I may be jumping the gun because I haven't actually had to deal with not having a "treat-day" yet as this Friday has not come yet, but honestly, I think it's going to be great. I can't wait to eat more healthy food on that day and just by-pass eating the sugary guck that is so unhelpful to my system. Also, I've been reading that it's not always a good thing to reward yourself with food. Perhaps I will reward myself once a week with something else...not sure yet what that will be though...I definitely don't have enough time or money to go out and go clothes shopping...hm...yeah, I guess I'll have to think on that one. Well, that's all for now, I have miserable loads of work to finish this week - I think I'll be spending late nights at the office headquarters every night this week! UGH! oh well...it'll keep my mind busy and off of food! :)
Day 15
(6:30 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 green apple (super SUPER good today), 6 almonds, 1 cup 2% milk
(12:33 p.m.) Lunch - 1 spicy 3oz turkey burger patty with two slices whole wheat bread, 12 oz water
(3:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 medium apple, 6 almonds, 10 oz water
(5:16 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup sliced carrots (raw), 5 oz water
(7:30 p.m.) Dinner - 1 cup salad greens, 1 cup vegetables (steamed), 1 cup 2% milk,
3 oz mayonnaise/cheese chicken thing, but made with light mayonnaise - tasted pretty good.
Monday, March 1, 2010
I forgot the Weigh-In Results for Week 2...
Day 15 ~
So, heh, I got so caught up with my tweaking that I forgot to mention the infamous Monday Weigh-In results...yes, it was as I feared - back to 125lbs. But my new adjustment to my plan will, I know, drastically increase my success rate. No more tangoing with the Devil!!! I am oddly relieved. :)
Day 15
(8:30 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 medium apple, 6 almonds 1 cup 2% milk
(2:00 p.m.) Lunch - 3oz turkey patty, 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 12 oz water
(4:30 p.m.) Snack - 1 medium green apple (picture of it above...sadly it is no more...haha), 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(6:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup sliced carrots (raw)
(7:30 p.m.) Dinner - 2 cups salad greens, 1 cup broccoli (raw), 3 oz fish fillet (baked), 8 oz water
So, heh, I got so caught up with my tweaking that I forgot to mention the infamous Monday Weigh-In results...yes, it was as I feared - back to 125lbs. But my new adjustment to my plan will, I know, drastically increase my success rate. No more tangoing with the Devil!!! I am oddly relieved. :)Day 15
(8:30 a.m.) Breakfast - 1 medium apple, 6 almonds 1 cup 2% milk
(2:00 p.m.) Lunch - 3oz turkey patty, 2 pieces whole wheat bread, 12 oz water
(4:30 p.m.) Snack - 1 medium green apple (picture of it above...sadly it is no more...haha), 6 almonds, 12 oz water
(6:00 p.m.) Snack - 1 cup sliced carrots (raw)
(7:30 p.m.) Dinner - 2 cups salad greens, 1 cup broccoli (raw), 3 oz fish fillet (baked), 8 oz water
Day 15 - Tweaking Things...
Is it a realistic option? I hate being a quitter. I am a very competitive person - heh, please don't get turned off by that statement! I guess I should just come out and say it, I am a perfectionist, I am competitive, I like to take charge and lead, basically I am the epitome of what a woman should NOT be, at least that's what my 4 brother's are always telling me...the losers. haha. I am naturally very athletic. My grandfather was sUPER buff for his time which was around 1920's before they had weight-machines and gyms. That's a picture of him on the right. I have a picture of me flexing as well in the same way, but that was a year ago when I was probably around 115 pounds and I am currently 125 pounds, so I want to loose 10 perhaps 15 pounds and I will be content. I think it is doable.
I like this picture.The ship is daring and
confident even though she faces darkening skies
and rough waters.And yet there is hope with the promise of blue skies. :)
So, after Saturday's and yesterday's epic FAIL (click me), I've chosen to tweak my original diet plan...I call it, Jenny's "CRACK DOWN!" Heh, yes, very dramatic, but it's just one change. Basically, I'm not going to eat desserts on Friday night's anymore until I loose 10-15 lbs.. I feel good about this decision with a pinch of apprehension. Not that I won't do it. I am very disciplined when I'm allowed to simply bypass temptation altogether. Tasting of the forbidden fruit was just too much for me. It triggers binges. I just don't want that anymore. Enough said. But then I'm like...Is it realistic? Heh...honestly, I don't know...I know right now I feel very motivated to do it, but that's probably because my body has had it's full of sweets due to last night's orgy of food! But I'm going to do it. And if I loose more than a pound a week, which I think I might because I'm cutting out desserts, I will up my caloric intake of good, clean food come Week 4 because I don't want to starve myself and again - Life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. :)
I like this picture.The ship is daring andconfident even though she faces darkening skies
and rough waters.And yet there is hope with the promise of blue skies. :)
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